Teaching your daughter about menustration
from: http://sexualityandu.ca/parents/puberty-2-1.aspx
Help Her Choose
When your daughter has her period, she will need to use something to absorb and dispose of the blood. Pads, tampons, cups, sponges [link to section on pads, tampons, cups and sponges] . . . there are many options available and it can be confusing to a girl who has just started her period. Here are a few tips to help her figure out what works for her.
Pads
- Most young women start with pads because they are easy to use. There are a wide range of disposable and re-usable pads available. Have her try a few and teach her how to use and dispose of them BEFORE she gets her period. The feeling of having a pad between your legs can take some getting used to.
- Buy a selection of pads and have them on hand for her to try out. Then, when she is comfortable, take her shopping so that she can see what is available. Include her when you go shopping for your own products.
Tampons, cups and sponges
- There is no right age to begin to use tampons, cups or sponges – if that is an option your daughter wants to try. Many young women first need to get comfortable with their body parts and with inserting an object into their vagina correctly.
- Some girls have a small vaginal opening and it may be difficult and uncomfortable for them to insert a tampon or a cup. In this case, it might be a good idea to wait a little while until they are older and their vaginal opening has stretched out.
- For many girls, learning to use a tampon or a cup makes it more comfortable for them to participate in all their regular activities (such as swimming).
- Always teach your daughter the importance of changing any product, but particularly tampons (because of the risk of Toxic Shock Syndrome [link to SOGC info on toxic shock]) on a regular basis – at least every 4 hours during the daytime. Tampons can be worn for up to 8 hours overnight.
Choosing
Many women use a combination of products – tampons or a cup and pads, pads at night time, different sizes of pads and (or) tampons during different phases of their period. A young woman will probably start with slender or light styles because her period may not be as heavy and her body is smaller. To help her decide you can talk about:
- what her flow is like during the day and at night
- how her flow changes from the beginning through to the end of her period
- how familiar and comfortable she is with her sexual organs
- which products she thinks she would be most comfortable using
- how much she travels or is away from home
- how active she is (how often she swims, rides a bike, dances or engages in other physical activities)
Pain, Pimples, and Mood Swings
Along with her period, your daughter’s body will also go through other changes during the different phases of her cycle. Some of these changes will be invisible; others show up as emotional or physical symptoms [link to SOGC section on emotional and physical symptoms – in adult and teen sections]. Yes, young girls do have pre-menstrual symptoms and they may be confusing and worrying to her. Talk about these symptoms and what she might expect and how to deal with them.
- Remember, staying healthy, eating a healthy diet, reducing stress and getting enough exercise makes it easier for women, both young and old, to handle the changes that go along with the menstrual cycle.
- Help her track her symptoms and keep a menstrual calendar. She may notice that she gets slightly moody or depressed or develops acne just before her period starts. Let her know that this is normal and show her how to plan around or for those times.
- If she has menstrual cramps [links to SOGC sections on cramps in teen and adult sections], she may not want to tell you. Be aware of when she has her period and show her how to deal with any cramps or other symptoms. Keep some ibuprofen or other over-the-counter pain relief on hand. But do not offer aspirin to anyone less than 20 years of age because of the risk of Reye’s syndrome (a rare but serious illness that can affect the blood, liver and brain of a child or a teenager suffering from an infection). Suffering through cramps does not have to be part of the rite of passage!
- If you notice that the pain or the changes interfere with her daily life, consult your doctor or health-care professional. Help your daughter explain what she is feeling and experiencing and let her speak for herself.
Hormonal birth control
Some young women do continue to experience very irregular and or painful periods, even after they have been menstruating for a year or so. While only a doctor can determine the cause, some young women do benefit from using some form of hormonal birth control to make their periods more regular, less heavy and less painful. Talk to your daughter’s doctor or health-care provider to find out if this is an option for your daughter.
Tips and Tricks
Share your tips and tricks with your daughter so she doesn’t have to learn the hard way!
- Wear dark clothes just before you get your period or during your period so leaks don’t show.
- Soak stained clothing in cold water first to get rid of the stains.
- Keep an extra pad or tampon in your purse or knapsack.
- Find someone you trust at school who you can go to if you start your period and aren’t prepared.
- Show her how to create an emergency pad out of toilet paper.
- Dispel any myths that pop up – such as thinking that you can’t get pregnant when you have your period. You can! Make sure your daughter knows this.
Hygiene
Teach your daughter how to take care of her body and her health during menstruation:
- Show her how to dispose of used products properly (most products come with instructions both on how to use them and how to dispose of them). Never flush a product down the toilet!
- Stress the importance of changing the product regularly, about every 4 hours. If she is using a tampon and it isn’t full by that time, consider changing to a lighter, smaller tampon.
- Make sure she knows to wash her hands and under her fingernails after changing a product.
- Encourage her to shower or bathe daily. A hot bath can also help with menstrual camps.
When to see a Doctor
Every young woman is different, and it is hard to tell what normal is during the first year or two of menstruation. If you have any concerns at all, talk to your daughter’s doctor of health-care provider. You may want to consult a doctor if:
- Your daughter has not had her first period by the time she is 16.
- Her periods remain irregular for more than 1 year after starting her period.
- She has menstrual bleeding that:
- lasts longer than 7 days.
- is heavier than normal (passing large clots or soaking a large pad or tampon every 1 or 2 hours for more than 8 hours).
- She misses more than 3 cycles.
- If she has emotional or physical symptoms (cramps, nausea, depression, irritability) that interfere with her daily life and are linked to her cycle.
For more information about menstruation and talking to your daughter about her period, see:
For more information on menstruation see:
