Here for You

Cross Gender Identity

Have you sometimes wondered if you're trapped in a body of the wrong gender? If so, you may have a transgendered identity or transgendered leanings. A transgendered person is someone who feels like they are the opposite gender on the inside . This is different from a transvestite, who feels a strong need to dress in the clothes of the opposite gender but does not wish to be the opposite gender.

Being transgendered is also different from being gay. Many transgendered people feel sexually attracted to members of their own biological gender, but many others do not. Even those drawn to their own gender tend to view themselves as heterosexual members of the opposite gender, rather than as homosexuals. In the end, being transgendered has a lot more to do with how you experience yourself than about who turns you on.

Most transgendered people become aware of their feelings in early childhood. Many children experiment with cross-gender behaviours, a child with "gender dysphoria" (the clinical term for unhappiness with one's gender) has a persistent and intense longing to be the opposite gender.

As you grow older, you may suffer as you watch your body develop as a gender that seems foreign to you. You may hate your deepening voice or broadening shoulders, or wish to tape down your growing breasts. Such feelings are normal for transgendered young people.

At some point you'll probably want to tell the important people in your life like parents and friends that you're transgendered. You may find it helpful to read the coming out section for homosexuals, bearing in mind that your own coming-out process might be even more challenging - Many people will find it hard to understand how you could feel the way you do.

You may wish to set the stage for the discussion by stating that you have been having questions about gender and are working to sort them out. For example:

"Some people discover something different about their sexual orientation. In my case, the big discovery has been about gender. I've always felt more like a guy (girl) than a girl (guy). I'm now trying to figure out what to do about these feelings, and I'd like to talk about the possibilities with you."

Because your sexual difference is less common and less understood than homosexuality, you may feel much more scared and isolated than gay teenagers. For this reason, it's essential that you get support from people who know what you're going through. Fortunately, transgendered support groups exist in all parts of the country. Many of these groups have programs for transgendered youths, and can help with advice about coming out and dealing with society's disapproving stare.

Support groups can also help you explore the various choices available to you as a transgendered person: living "in role" as a person of the opposite gender with the possible goal of gender-reassignment surgery (a sex-change surgery) in the future, living in role only part of the time (such as on weekends), or undergoing hormonal treatments that will make you feel and look closer to the opposite gender. Changing your body through surgery is a drastic and irreversible step. It makes sense to give yourself time, think carefully and explore other alternatives, to make sure you're not making a decision that you'll come to regret.