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Smart Sex Workshop Outline
Scenarios for Negotiating Condom Use

Activity Summary:

Even when people have a lot of information about condoms, they are not always using them 100% of the time. This activity encourages participants to think about why people may not use condoms, and what some possible responses to these reasons may be.

Do you think that everyone uses condoms all of the time?

Participants will usually say no. If they say yes, you can say that actually this isn’t true, and that many people don’t use condoms every time.

What do you think are some of the reasons that people don’t use condoms all the time? Write responses on board.

Examples they may give:

• Someone may not know how to use them properly
• Someone may be embarrassed
• Don’t have any on you
• They’re embarrassed to buy them
• Things happen fast
• Don’t know how to bring it up
• Don’t know were to get them
• It’s inconvenient
• It doesn’t feel as good
• You may want to get pregnant
• You’re in a relationship

We’re going to go through some of these reasons. Imagine you’re with someone who says one of these things to you as a reason for not using a condom. Here’s a chance for you to think of how you might respond to that person, to let them know that using a condom is important to you.

I’m going to pass you each a slip of paper with something someone might say to you as a reason not to use a condom. How would you respond to someone who says this to you? Distribute the slips of paper

Go through the group, asking the person to read their slip and then asking what they would say. Encourage and prompt the person to respond if they say “I don’t’ know”. Do not overly insist. If the person doesn’t respond ask the rest of the group if anyone has any suggestions. Only offer suggestions yourself if there really are no responses forthcoming. Do not be too quick to jump in and offer suggestions. It is preferable for the participants to come up with their own way of saying things, as these will likely be more relevant and useful to them.

Reasons to not use condoms (on their slips):

• “It doesn’t feel as good”
• “I just want to feel close to you”
• “Don’t worry, I’m clean”
• “We’ve been together for 6 months, and we’ve both been tested”
• “If you loved me, you would”
• “We’re lesbian. We’re immune”
• “It’s too tight”
• “It don’t have any condoms”
• “I’ll lose my erection”
• “We’re both HIV positive”
• “You think I’m a slut”
• “I’m already on the pill”
• “You don’t trust me?”
• “I’m HIV negative”
• “I’d know if I had something”

Additional activity option:

You can pair people up and have them respond to each other’s phrases.

Go back to the reasons that you wrote on the board earlier. Cross out the ones that have been responded to. Ask for possible responses to any remaining phrases.