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Sexual Abuse/Assault

from: YOUNG EAGLES’ CHALLENGE: A Peer Education Training Manual for First Nations Youth on HIV/AIDS and Related Issues

Sexual assault means any non-consensual sexual activity ranging from: unwanted touching, to forced oral, anal or vaginal intercourse, to sexual violence in which the victim is wounded or maimed or his/her life is endangered.

If peers have experienced any of the above, they can recognize that it is assault. Since first contact with Europeans, sexual assault has become far more common in our First Nations communities. When we grow up as boys and girls there can be adults who do sexual things to us. People who do this are most often adult but can also be other children. Most often the abuser is a male but sometimes they can be a female too. Most often the abuser is well known to the child; a family member, friend of the family or someone who is in charge of children.

Here we are not talking about consensual sex play between peers. Why would someone do this to a child? Two reasons: partly because they can control children easier than they could an adult; or they have an abnormal sexual preference for children. Often there is a connection between sexual abuse/assault and substance use, especially alcohol. But being drunk or using does not cause someone to abuse. They might use it as an excuse but the reasons go far deeper than being high or drunk. Also, not everyone who sexually abuses is under the affects of drugs or alcohol. How does someone become like this? There's a lot that we don't understand about people who abuse children but people who were themselves physically and/or sexually abused are more likely to become sexually abusive later on in life. And sometimes they also were victims who have not come to terms with their past. The good news is that if a child starts into this sexual assault behaviour and is discovered, intervention at an early age is quite effective in stopping the abusive behavior. As communities we must not hide our heads in the sand.

Even the suspicion of sexual assault and abuse should be reported. We must remain vigilant and educated as young people so that we can create and maintain a healthy community. What does this mean to someone who was sexually abused or assaulted when they were growing up? Accept that this is in no way their fault. Healing and forgiveness can take place. Seek out help from counsellors and healers. If a person does not deal with these past experiences of abuse then it can have a very negative effect on our holistic health (especially sexual). Some common effects of sexual abuse can be: depression, questioning sexual identity, addictions, lack of personal boundaries, avoidance of sexual contact, fear of intimacy, physical/sexual problems, etc. As a result, some may become street involved, run away from home, be sexually exploited like in the sex trade, feel suicidal, or face increased violent behavior, etc. This does not mean that everyone that has been sexually assaulted or abused will experience any or all of these effects and results. Nor does it mean that all sex-trade workers have been sexually abused. As a teenager it is more likely that girls will be taken advantage of, but teen boys can be victims of sexual assault as well. As the definition of sexual assault above states this is not just about forced penetration or "rape" but any kind of uninvited sexual contact. For teen girls this often happens with a boy that they are going out with. The young man usually does not see himself as the aggressor but somehow convinces himself that even though it seems she's not clear about wanting to do something sexual, it's ok to pressure her into it. This is called coercion and it is sexual assault. It's called date rape even though penetration may not be involved.

Why wouldn't girls resist, fight back or tell? Sometimes they do. Often they blame themselves, they're embarrassed or they think others will blame them. If it's a young man it may be even more difficult for him to tell anyone that he has been assaulted. If a person is living in a small community it's even harder to tell because everyone knows
everyone and sometimes we're afraid to rock the boat. The ripple effect can be huge.
When we're working with other youth as Youth Peer Educators this complex issue must be kept in mind with every group we work with. The Peer Educator is not a counsellor but they can offer friendly support. If a troubled youth feels ready to talk to someone, it's important that the Peer Educator has a good list of resource people to refer them to. (See the local resource contact form in the toolkit section which can help to create a list of support people for referrals or many other needs).