Here for You

Issues around Pregnancy and Responsibility

from: YOUNG EAGLES’ CHALLENGE: A Peer Education Training Manual for First Nations Youth on HIV/AIDS and Related Issues

When do I know when I'm ready for sex for the first time?

For example, just because a female can become pregnant, it does not mean she wants or needs to. As for males, just because they can make a child, this does not mean the male is mature enough to take responsibility and help raise a child.

Pregnancy

What are some reasons why youth may have unprotected sex even though they know it can cause various infections or unplanned pregnancies?

• One common reason is that sex feels good. Sex can be a wonderful experience, especially when two people love each other. However, until the people involved recognize their responsibilities, then risks can be greater than what they want;
• Using protection like condoms or dental dams can seem awkward or unnatural, some people may even say it does not feel good or that condoms decrease the sensitivity;
• Some people may not have protection with them or do not want to be obvious in going to a nurse or doctor to get condoms, so in the heat of the moment, they decide to go ahead without them;
• Alcohol and/or other drugs may affect whether someone thinks about using protection or can say no to sex;
• One person may feel stronger emotionally toward the other, and if one partner does not want to use condoms or protection, they may feel they have no choice or are afraid to lose the person of their affection if they insist on using protection;
• Some people say they do not have HIV/AIDS so feel there is no need to use protection; however there are many other things to be worried about like unwanted pregnancies or sexually transmitted infections, some which can never be cured (herpes and genital warts to name two);
• Staying faithful or committed to one person may be one person's understanding, however the other person may be seeing others, so this can create a false sense of security;

• Some girls may want to become pregnant, simply because they want a child of their own to love or they feel it is a way to show how much they care for their guy;
• Sexual assault, date rapes, gang-bangs and any non-consensual sex can also be reasons why unprotected sex is not practiced, including where one partner may feel they have no say in asking the other to use protection.

The point is that it is not so simple to know what goes on in the minds of individuals who decide to go ahead and practice unsafe sex. While there is really no such thing as 100% safe sex, (condoms can break, different things can happen) there is such a thing as safer sex, which is knowing what risks go with certain behaviors and taking steps to protect you and your sexual partner(s).

Here are some facts on teen pregnancies:

• "Younger parents: 12% of Aboriginal families are headed by a parent under 25 versus 3% in the general population;
• More single parents: 27% of Aboriginal families are headed by single parents versus 12% in the general population;
• Lower income: 39% of Aboriginal single mothers earn less than $12,000 a year versus 22% of single mothers in the general population;
• Bigger families: 10% of respondents in the FNIRHS lived in families with over four children up to 11 years of age living at home versus 0% of respondents in the National Longitudinal Survey of Children and Youth."

What we can take from this one study, and there are other studies who describe more local or regional information across the country, is that teenage pregnancies are a reality for significant numbers of young adults. Most single parents get shocked into the full reality of being a parent which carries a lot of responsibility and commitment, if you want to be a good parent and care properly for your child(ren). This is not an issue of being a good or bad parent, nor is it about good or bad decisions. What needs to be the focus of this section, in terms of HIV/AIDS, is this statement: for every unwanted pregnancy, in reality, it could be an unwanted STI, including HIV.

Becoming pregnant is not something that just happens. It takes two people to make the baby. An unplanned pregnancy also shows that condoms were likely not used, unless the condom broke or was not used correctly (for example, it was put on wrong). So evidence shows that with Aboriginal teen pregnancies, it is more likely that the parent will be raising the baby by themselves. A young parent can expect to have little or no money because raising a child is expensive. $12,000 might sound like a lot for a young person, but in reality, after you pay rent, food, diapers, clothes, medicine, and all the other living costs such as laundry, cribs, walkers, furniture, etc. then the money simply will not go far.