Here for You

Safer Sex

from: YOUNG EAGLES’ CHALLENGE: A Peer Education Training Manual for First Nations Youth on HIV/AIDS and Related Issues

This section is to describe some basic ways of protecting yourself, if and when a youth decides to become sexually active. The information can also be used if someone is already sexually active and wants to protect themselves more. Sex after marriage is an issue too (and includes those who are waiting to have sex until after marriage).

CONDOM USE:

There is strong evidence that shows that many people - young or older – are not using condoms when they have sex. As mentioned before, if two people are in a relationship and have not cheated on each other, then condoms or any other protection is not necessary. There can still be a risk, for example when partners are unfaithful or have shared needles in the past and do not know their HIV status. It is a good idea for both people to get a HIV test and again in 6 months, after they start their relationship to be sure. This does not address whether one person is unfaithful and that requires trust and open dialogue. Couples trying to have children fit here too. If this couple does not want a pregnancy, then there are other options like diaphragm, birth control pills, etc. that can be used instead of a condom. Many people say condoms are simply not fun - they take time to put on, or they lower the pleasure or feeling.

These are opinions, some based on experience, and others based on preference, which needs to be dealt with. Some guys even joke about the condom being too small, when in fact a condom is made to stretch quite a bit and can even fit over your hand. Some condom packages have instructions inside that you can read, some even have diagrams. Latex condoms are the best because they do not allow HIV to get through the material unless the condom breaks. Some condoms can break if they are not stored properly, are old or have been carried in pockets or wallets which have caused wear. All condom packages have expiry dates. If someone is not used to using condoms, it is useful to open one up in the privacy of your bedroom and look it over. This helps to become familiar with how they open, feel, unroll, etc.

To use a condom, remove from package. Take a corner of the wrapper and tear open gently. You don't want to rip the condom itself. Some condoms are lubricated with nonoxonyl-9 (N-9) which helps the condom move more freely. N-9 can increase the chances of contracting HIV. It causes irritation which makes the body more likely to get HIV if it is exposed to the virus. It can hurt, burn or cause irritation if used for anal sex. Some females are also allergic to N-9 or even to latex condoms. Other personal lubricants may be useful, and these should always be water-based. NEVER use baby oil, Vaseline, or anything that has an oil-base. These cause the condoms to break down and tear, making them useless. If the guy has a foreskin (is uncut), it is helpful to pull the foreskin back a little before placing the condom over the head of the penis. To increase feeling, guys can also place a small amount of the personal lubricant on the head of the penis before putting on the condom. As mentioned earlier, if you want to avoid being awkward with putting a condom on in front of another person, it may be helpful to try it out on your own. One other way, is to use this time to talk with your sexual partner and have both of you put it on together. Remember the personal lubricant can be slippery, so if you have it on your hands before trying to open the condom package, it could be hard to get open. You may want to open the condom package first, then reach for the tube or bottle of personal lubricant. These lubricants also come in small single use containers.

LATEX BARRIERS: (dental dams, plastic food wrap, latex gloves)

A barrier is something that comes between you and something else. In this case, the barrier will be for blocking direct contact between the mouth and body fluids. This can protect the person who is giving pleasure with their mouth from coming in contact with other sexually transmitted infections, like genital warts, herpes or any of the other infections listed earlier or hepatitis A or B.

Again, latex is the best type, because when used properly with water-based lubricants, it can be an effective way of blocking direct contact. A dental dam is what the dentist uses when you go for dental work, like a tooth filling. It is the rubbery piece of material that is stretched over your mouth and held in place to stop things from going down into the throat while the dentist does their work.

To use a dental dam properly, you will want to use personal lubricant on the side that touches the other person. This will increase the sensitivity for them and allow the dental dam to move around with some ease. The other person would hold the dental dam over the vagina or anus (mouth to pussy/ass) and place their face down onto the area. They would then press their tongue against the dental dam which is between the other person and the mouth. It can be awkward and take some time to get used to, but if a person is going to perform oral sex on a vagina or anus, a dental dam is recommended. Some people use plastic food wrap because they can tear off a larger piece. However, the microwaveable type is not recommended because they have more pores or small openings. The same method would be used as with a dental dam.

Latex gloves can be used if you want to insert one or more fingers inside someone. Once again, latex along with water-based lubricant is best. Gloves protect hands and fingers which may have small tears or hang nails from being exposed to body fluids. Lubricant generally provides the easy movement which allows the entry to be less harsh. Some people use latex gloves to perform oral sex on a vagina or anus, like they would with a dental dam. What they do is place the latex glove on one hand. They cut the top part of the glove which covers the back of the hand down the middle stopping at the knuckles. This way, they can insert fingers to help pleasure their partner, while also having a large piece of plastic to keep a barrier between their mouth and the vagina or anus.

SEX TOYS:

The last piece of information under safer sex will be sex toys. Some people choose to use sex toys so that the sexual experience lasts longer. Most people who have full sexual intercourse alone may last only five to fifteen minutes on average. By learning what your partner enjoys, and trying to fulfill their pleasures, one possible way is the use of sex toys. These are not for everyone and it really is an individual choice on whether they want toys used or not.

Sex toys can include: vibrators; dildos; benwah balls; butt plugs; among others. The important thing to remember about any sex toy is that they should be cleaned properly after each use; caution and care should be used; water-based lubricants are recommended, and never share the toy between more than one person. They are used by inserting them into the vagina or anus, and as such are exposed to body fluids. It is important for each person to have their own sex toys for use on themselves rather than sharing them between individuals. If you do share, you can also use condoms over these to avoid contact between each person's body fluids.