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Sexual Assault

Sexual abuse is a terrible crime with serious consequences. It can hurt a victim's sex life (for the rest of their life), cause anxiety or depression and can destroy a person's self-esteem. These consequences can haunt a victim for the rest of their life. If the abuse is frequent, committed by a family member or involves full-blown sex, things are likely to be even worse. Sexual abuse will make you feel alone, worthless and scared. Sadly, many cases are never reported, particularly when a family member is involved.

If you're being abused, please talk to someone you trust, like your school's guidance counselor. Do it for yourself, so that you can feel safe and be happy. Your body belongs to YOU AND ONLY YOU. No one - not a parent, not a relative, not a friend that you trust - should ever have control over it.

Both guys and girls can be victims of sexual assault or rape

You may think, "but sex feels good and people have sex all the time, so why is sexual assault such a big deal?" Sexual assault isn't about sex. It's about fear and control, and it changes a victim for the rest of their lives. It robs them of their sense of security, something that may never fully come back. So yeah, it's a big deal. In fact, it's just about as big a deal as deals can get.

Even if a person is not physically hurt during these crimes, the emotional scars left by these crimes last a long time, and people who have been assaulted often continue to be afraid, anxious or have trouble sexually throughout their lives.

Date rape, or rape by someone you know is much more common than sexual assault by a complete stranger.

The best way to avoid sexual assault is to make sure that you always feel safe and in control of a situation. If you don't, GET OUT OF THERE. You don't have to do anything you don't want to do. You don't have to go drink at that college party, and you don't have to go park with your boyfriend.

Sexual assault is any sexual activity without consent, and it is against the law. Sexual violence is not about sex: it is about power. It happens to men, but it's almost always an issue of men trying to hold power over women.

If someone tells you that they have been abused or sexually assaulted:

• Listen.
• Thank them for confiding in you, and acknowledge how hard it must be to talk about the abuse.
• Tell them that you believe them. It is important for someone who has been abused or sexually assaulted to have people believe what has happened. People rarely lie about being abused or assaulted.
• Support their feelings by saying things like: "It sounds like it was really scary" or "I understand why you feel so terrible."
• Let them know that it wasn't their fault. The only person to blame is the offender.
• Help them report the crime to the authorities. Be their friend. It's not easy for victims to talk about being assaulted. Go with them to get help, and offer to stay by their side through the whole thing. It's impossible to put into words how important this is. This is a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity for you to MAKE A HUGE DIFFERENCE IN SOMEONE'S LIFE. So be strong; be there for them. (see below).
• Help them find places where they can get help(e.g. sexual assault centre).

Note: If you know or suspect that someone under 16 is being, or is likely to be, neglected or emotionally, physically, or sexually abused, you have a legal obligation to report it to the Ministry of Children and Families or Child Protection Office in your province.

If someone tells you that they've been acting in a way that you think is abusive:

• Listen.
• Support change in the behaviour.
• Speak out and address abusive comments.
• Help them understand that they are the only one responsible for the violence, even if their partner is responsible for other problems in the relationship. Violence is a learned behaviour and can be unlearned.
• Encourage them to seek help in a counseling program. The violence will not stop on its own.

Sexual Assault: The Law

Level 1 - Sexual Assault
It is a crime if someone forces any form of sexual activity on someone else (e.g. kissing, fondling, touching, sexual intercourse, etc.) without that person's consent.

Level 2 - Sexual Assault with a Weapon
It is a crime if, during a sexual assault

• the attacker either uses a weapon or threatens to use a weapon (imitation or real)
• the attacker causes bodily harm to the victim
• the attacker threatens to harm a person other than the victim
• more than one person assaults the victim in the same incident

Level 3 - Aggravated Sexual Assault
It is a crime if, while committing a sexual assault, the attacker

• wounds, maims, disfigures, or brutally beats the victim
• endangers the life of the victim.

Sexual Interference (against children under 14)

It is a crime if someone, for a sexual purpose, touches any part of the body of a child (under the age of 14).

Invitation to Sexual Touching (against children under 14)

It is a crime if someone, for a sexual purpose, encourages a child to touch them with any part of the child's body or with an object.

Invitation to Sexual Touching (against children 14-17)

It is a crime if someone who is in a position of trust or authority towards a young person (someone between the ages of 14 and 17) or a person with whom the young person is in a relationship of dependency (guardian, foster-parent, parent) commits the offence of "sexual interference" or "invitation to sexual touching" described above.

Incest

It is a crime if a blood relation has sexual intercourse with another blood relation (e.g. parent, brother, half-brother, sister, grandparent, etc.).

Exposure

It is a crime if someone, for a sexual purpose, exposes his or her genitals to a person who is under the age of 14. (If this happens to someone over the age of 14, it is only against the law if it happens in a public place.)

Offence in Relation to Juvenile Prostitution

It is a crime if someone buys or attempts to buy the sexual services of a person who is under the age of 18.

Sources

1. Metropolitan Action Committee on Violence Against Women and Children (METRAC) (1998) Preventing Sexual Assault. Toronto: Author.
2. Victoria Women's Sexual Assault Centre (1994) Today's Talk About Sexual Violence: A Booklet for Teens. Victoria: Author.
3. Education Wife Assault (1993) Preventing Violence in Dating Relationships: A Teaching Guide. Toronto: Author.